Peacefully peaceful

It has been a long time..n a lot has happened over the last 15 days....including my birthday:)..which was a nice one unlike most years.At midnight I was tortured by people who dirtied me with a mixture of rotten strawberries, detergent and some stale food...YUKKKKSS!!!! By morning I ended up shampooing my hair 4 times to get the rotten stink out of my hair! :P
Then had only one class throughout the day, got a few surprises and in the night went out for a nice dinner with a few friends. Peaceful. Totally peaceful.
It got over too soon ;)

The dude has shifted.So my life is now about the most obnoxiously atrocious time difference. Hopefully I will adapt to it soon, which has not happened yet. But surprisingly, I have been quite good in coping with it, much in contrast to my expectations. Staying busy helps!
It is quite weird how despite my being engaged, I have certain thoughts at the back of my head, thoughts which I have been deliberately trying to suppress and ignore. I guess some things in life cannot be separated or replaced. Over the years, they have become such an integral part of our lives that nothing, absolutely nothing can take their place. And mind you, I am just talking about thoughts, whether it is about a person or just some arbit thing in my life like what I feel when I see a bird flying or what I feel when I see a child crying. It could be anything.

Thoughts I think just keep me going on. I have started cherishing every bit of it.

A choice made

I try too hard i guess. To analyse things around me. To scrutinize and find a meaning to my life.But often in vain. Well, the questions are making a haze around me, difficult for me to gaze into even the next moment.Perhaps the answer is not to find meaning, but to give it. Perhaps I should not get perplexed and just take every moment as it comes. Perhaps someday I will be able to make a difference for whom i want. Perhaps instead of drifting endlessly I should just close by eyes, take a deep breath, compartmentalize my mind, smile, look forward for a good day, and just move on. That is the choice I think I just made.

New Year's eve

After a lot of speculation regarding what to do for the eve, went with the rest for a party. Somehow I was in no mood for dancing or being in a party. But anything better than sitting alone in my room on new year's eve. I was a little agitated ( with I do not know what) and needed to calm down, to shift gears. Just did not know how.
There are times when all I look for when I began my quest for relaxation is peace of mind. Sitting in my room thinking of getting ready for the party was beginning of this quest which I felt I would certainly not get in a party with people drinking and dancing. I was frazzled. It felt like... I was not running my life, instead, it was running me.
However, got a nice surprise from a friend who reached the party without informing me. I felt it wouldnt be that bad after all. After a few hellos and fake smiles during social interaction, I was tired of it. Such places for me are not fun. It certainly does not solve any problems. It is just a "jump and run away" option. However, last night it worked. As the minutes turned into hours, my attention shifted from the jumble of thoughts racing through my mind to observing people around. A little later all the agitation and sadness which unconciously existed in mind came out in the form of tears. And ultimately absolute calmness.